Passive Parenting?

So the other day I started writing this post and I had to take a step back. As I read over my hastily types post, I wondered what had happened. It started out simply enough, yet by the third paragraph I had transformed into a snarky bitter anti-mom.

It’s the mom wars. They are everywhere and every mom feels their presence. There is just so. much. judgement.

From the moment you conceive a child, you are no longer safe. While pregnant, both family and strangers find it their responsibility to tell you everything you should and shouldn’t be doing. Then as a frazelled new mother, you drive yourself crazy reading and googling all the pros and cons of breast-feeding, crying it out, tummy time–only trying to do “the right thing.”

Why are we so into this parenting thing? Do we maybe have too much information?

When I had Addison I did a lot of the things I think most new moms do in the age of the internet. I Google-searched….a lot. I read…a lot. I even got preachy to all my other mom friends, until eventually, it just became too much. So I did the best thing I have ever done for myself and my child. I let go.

I started listening to my instincts, forgot the schedules, and grew confident in my abilities as a mother.

I always joke with my mom-friends that I may be too relaxed. I try really hard not to freak out over little things and in doing that I think I come across as a little too passive. If Addison eats lint off the ground I shrug it off. Our bodies, and our children really, are capable of so much if we could just give them the room to breathe and learn.

I just think it would be so much less stressful if people would just back off and trust that a mother knows how to care for her child. Not Google. Not Great Aunt Edith. But the mom. The woman who carried that life in her for 40 weeks, knows what to do. If she were only empowered to do so.

So if that’s being too passive, that’s fine with me. I don’t want every waking moment of my life consumed with thoughts of Addison’s diet and sleep schedule and keeping a running tally of her word count. I just want to enjoy this very brief window where she is so tiny and I am the most important person in her world. I want to be present.


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